Greenwood2
January 3, 2009
For several years, the state of Ohio used the slogan “Ohio—At the heart of it all” because of its basic heart-like shape and the Midwestern state’s relative central location geographically to the entire continental United States (but Ohio’s more east than west; more north than south; a heart’s not straight-edged on the sides; but the human heart’s not dead-center either; wait—you’re over-thinking it) but Tennessee ties Missouri as the state bordering the most other states, neighboring eight other states: Kentucky and Virginia on the north; Georgia, Alabama and Mississippi on the south; North Carolina to the east; Arkansas and Missouri (on the Mississippi River) to the west.
And yet for its nearness to so many things, a person might well conclude, “Ya know…you just can’t get there from here.” (If you’ve ever driven from Memphis to Chattanooga. Oh, you can do it all right…just not easily. One of the more popular ways is the “northern route” through Nashville. Look on the map at Memphis in the southwest, Chattanooga in the southeast and Nashville in the middle-north. To really getting you scratching your head, the “northern route” [using the interstate highways] is only about 10 miles longer.) But if you opt for the “southern route,” make time to visit the Jack Daniel distillery near Lynchburg. Yes, there really was a Jack Daniel. In Cave Spring, near Lynchburg, Tennessee, a distiller, Jack Daniel, developed what has become easily one of the most recognized names in alcoholic spirits. Born in 1846, Jasper Newton “Jack” Daniel learned distilling while quite young and after buying his mentor’s distillery (actually just a still), he moved it near Lynchburg, Tennessee (off what is now US 64) and an integral part of his marketing revolved around a distinctive style that would remind the public of his product; simply put, “Remember me, remember my whiskey.” Daniel wore a knee-length frock coat and planter’s hat; grew a mustache and goatee and used his flamboyant personal image to promote his whiskey.
His was a whiskey, not bourbon; all bourbons are whiskeys but not all
whiskeys are bourbons. Both require an aging process but because of
ingredients, bourbon tends to be less sweet. (Something like “All collies
are dogs but not all dogs are collies.”)
To this day, supporters strongly disagree; which is “better”—Tennessee’s Jack Daniel’s Sippin’ Whiskey or Kentucky’s Makers Mark bourbon? (It can properly be spelled “whisky” or “whiskey.”) The name “bourbon” comes from Bourbon County, Kentucky but there are no active distillers currently in Bourbon County, Kentucky.
(For laughs, Christian County, Kentucky is wet [liquor sales] but Bourbon
County, Kentucky is dry.)
He registered his distillery in 1866, establishing what would become the
oldest permanent business of its kind in America. (The No. 1 on the label
exists because when the federal government began giving out registration
numbers to distillers, Jack Daniel was first.) For the record, there was a Jim
Beam, George A. Dickel and Dr. James Crow as well.
Daniel had no children so his nephew inherited his business.
Jack Daniel died in 1911 from complications arising after not seeking
medical help following his kicking a safe he couldn’t get open.
If the “southern route” is your choice, keep in mind, sometimes “…you just can’t get there from here.”
Oldfield4
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Southern Speak
Almost, “He near ‘bout busted his butt walking on the ice last Winter.” or “Surely we’re pert near [put nye] there.” About someone throwing a fit, “She knew how to raise sand and get attention.” Indistinguishable from the background, “It’s as lost as a goose in a snowstorm.” “Know your place”, “If you can't run with the big dogs, stay under the porch.” Worthless, “Well, that’s about as useful as gooseshit on a pumphandle.” “Don’t even try”, “I’m tellin’ ya, you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.” “Oh, well”, "Some days you win, some days you lose, some days it rains." or “You win some, you lose some and then there’s that weird third option.” or “Life’s a bitch and then you die.” Encouragement, "You just go on up there and show ‘em how it’s done.” |
Unread White and Blue
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“Chuckles the Clown is dead. There was a freak accident. He went to the parade dressed as Peter Peanut and a rogue elephant tried to shell him” (Chuckles Bites the Dust.) “This could’ve happened to any of us” “Yeah. Somewhere out there, there’s an elephant with your name on it” (Chuckles Bites the Dust) “I wonder which are the other clowns” “You’ll know soon. They’re all gonna jump out of a little hearse!” (Chuckles Bites the Dust) “What is it now, Ted?” “Aw, Lou. How come every time I come here to say something you say ‘what is it now, Ted?’ like I’m going to say something dumb?” “How come every time I see a duck, I expect it to quack?” “No, no you answer my question first” (Ted Baxter’s Famous Broadcasters’ School) “I’ve just been handed a bulletin: ‘You have something on your front tooth’” (Room 223) The Mary Tyler Moore Show “Hey waitress, you got chicken legs?” “No, it's rheumatism that makes me walk like this!” Hee Haw “My own father didn't have me until he was 63, and the first time we played peek-a-boo together he had a stroke” (Abyssinia, Henry) M*A*S*H |
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One of the best sites on the web generally covering all things Southern: USADEEPSOUTH |
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All original artwork in The Blue Mud Chronicles is by Jeffrey Unthank. See more of his work at:
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Blue Mud is now available at its
author page at Booklocker (best customer service) and as a Print-on-Demand [POD]
book online through Amazon as well as Barnes & Noble and
Target
Do you know what your cat’s saying?
Feline Journal
