October 5, 2008
The Christ of the Ozarks statue, fixed since 1966, was the first attraction built for the Great Passion Play Theme Park, which was never fully realized, but an outdoor passion play, fashioned after the Oberammergau in Germany, is shown 5 nights a week from the end of April through the end of October in a close-by 4,100-seat amphitheater. The Christ of the Ozarks statue stands on Magnetic Mountain, facing westward, towering over the town of Eureka Springs, Arkansas below.
Christ of the Ozarks is the third-tallest Jesus in the world (beaten only by a very few mega-Messiahs in South America). Hovering at an altitude of 1,500 feet, it stands 67 feet tall and its width, from fingertip to
fingertip, is 65 feet. According to legend, it originally had feet, but they had to be removed to lower the statue; otherwise Jesus by law would have had a red warning beacon for aircraft fixed to his head.
The statue was conceived by Gerald L.K. Smith, a religious and political leader active during the Great Depression and World War II. An opponent of President Franklin D. Roosevelt, Smith was a one-time leader in Louisiana Senator Huey Long's "Share Our Wealth" campaign and Smith ran for president on independent tickets during the 1940s and 1950s. The Christ of the Ozarks statue is a popular tourist attraction but remains controversial with local residents due to Smith's association with white supremacist and anti-Semitic organizations throughout his career.
The statue has been parodied many times over the years in local and national publications due to its striking nature and artistic flaws. The fact that it is uneven in nature has led to a variety of unflattering monikers, such as "Gumby Jesus" and "Our Milk Carton With Arms." A local guide allowed, "I don't really like the statue. The features are harsh and hard. But it's a memorial to our Savior, and for that it's fine."
The Passion Play runs 6 months a year (or about 24 weeks, or 120 performances)
A mere 50% attendance is around 240,000 patrons
Oops! Make it a rainy year on this outdoor amphitheatre and 20% is lost, so only 192,000 attendance is realized
A tourism standard of 2.6 times is applied (a tourist’s dollar “turns over” 2.6 times in the local economy at hotels, restaurants, gas stations, etc.)
Each tourist spends (low-end it) $10
$10 X 192,000 X 2.6=$4,992,000 for Eureka Springs, Arkansas
Aren’t tourists great? They come, give you money, then go away.
Yup, there’s gold in them thar hills!
Nude—without clothes [like a newborn]
Naked—nude but appropriate [like showering]
Nekkid—naked and up to no good [“Nekkid as a Jaybird.”]
Briar (Kentucky)
Sooner, Okie (Oklahoma)
Arky (Arkansas)
Cracker (Georgia)
Snowbird (Florida tourist)
“Yankees are like hemorrhoids: if they come down then go back, they’re not so bad but if they come down and stay, they can be a real pain in the ass!”
A female whose husband is deceased—“widow woman”
“Opinions are like assholes; everybody’s got one; some are just louder and smellier than others.”
“If you don't stop that crying, I'll give you something to cry about!”
“Your ass is grass and I'm the lawnmower!”
"What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?"
“If y'all don't quit that fightin', I'm gonna whip you so hard you won't be able to sit down for a week."
“It's so noisy in here, I can't hear myself think.”
Ground beef is “hamburger meat”
Detergent is “washing powders”
Whole milk is “sweet milk”
“Regular” or “Sweet” iced tea is tea with sugar
“Jeetjet?” (“Did you eat yet?”)
“No, chu? (“No, did you?”)
“Skweet.” (“Let’s go eat.”)
You must really want to eat,
“I'm hungry enough to eat the south end of a north bound skunk.”
The Blue Mud Chronicles and archives are available on-line at http://blue-mud.net/Blue_Mud_Chronicles_October_2008.html
Blue Mud is now available at its author page at Booklocker (best customer service) and as a Print-on-Demand [POD] book online through Amazon as well as Barnes & Noble and Target.